


Mystery Hunters Don't Retire

by Alazan



Category: Gravity Falls, Supernatural
Genre: BAMF Grunkle Stan, Bobby Singer and Stanley Pines were buddies, Brother Feels, Father Figures, Friendship, Grunkle Stan can swear for real in this, Grunkle Stan kinda takes over Bobby's role as the information and back up guy?, I Don't Even Know, I just kinda want Ford to be amazed with Stanley and feel bad about his treatment of him, I'm Bad At Tagging, Not Beta Read, Post season 7 of SPN but no specific episode, Post-Weirdmageddon, Stanley Pines is a retired Hunter, Stanley has more secrets than people think, Supernatural Hunting, Swearing, What Was I Thinking?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-20
Updated: 2016-01-20
Packaged: 2018-05-15 03:32:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,505
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5769658
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alazan/pseuds/Alazan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Once Stan learned all he could about the portal from the science perspective, he needed to learn about the paranormal science. But telling apart the legit stuff from the crap he tries to sell at the Shack was hard. But he's Stan Pines, con man supreme, he knows how to ask around for what he wants. Leads him to Bobby Singer. Long story short, Stan accidentally became a hunter back in the day in exchange for information and supplies that came in handy in rebuilding the portal. </p>
<p>Skip forward to the present, after the Weirdmageddon business...an Impala rolls up and Stan knows the Winchesters. It's impossible not to. They have an envelope addressed to him from Bobby, and only he can open it. What's inside? And could it be the answer to what he'll do after the kids go home?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mystery Hunters Don't Retire

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know if they're out there, but I want stuff where Ford comes to realize just how much Stanley has forced himself to learn to not only survive, but to rebuild his portal. Even he had help from Bill, and Stanley had to figure things out on his own. Plus with the kids home, Stan would be lonely and I think becoming a father figure to Sam and Dean would be kinda cute while Ford hears stories about Stan, tracks him down and realizes how much of a bad ass Stan is. 
> 
> If anyone has any fic recs of any good 'Ford feeling like crap for how he treated Stanley' fics, please let me know. 
> 
> Other than that...uh, please enjoy. Comment if you have the time, please?

Truth be told, Stan had no idea what the hell he was going to do once the summer came to an end. The whole Weirdmageddon thing didn't stop time after all...not forever anyway. Bill and his evil monsters were defeated. Somehow they were granted a Hail Mary and everyone came out of it alive. Not unchanged or damage, but alive. And considering how close it got to lose anyone and everyone, he'll personally take it as a win. 

There was a lot of clean up to do around town. Luckily the kids and his brother had protected the Shack so it was left to it's regular sense of crappy shambles. 

While the others went around town looking for people, repairing anything that could be repaired, and making sure no evil monster was still lurking about(though he was sure Ford was 97% in charge of that last one. Dipper closely behind.)

It wasn't easy, but they were getting a sense of 'normality' back. Getting back into a rhythm of a routine. 

So when a sleek black 1967 Chevy Impala was parked right next to his 1965 'El Diablo' Convertible, he knew shit was gonna hit the fan. When he saw _who_ it was stepping out of the car, he swore before he sighed. 

"Long day indeed."

He was already by the door when there was a knock. When he opened it he rolled at their fake FBI badges and scoffed, "Put those away. I've been questioned by enough real FBI to tell the real ones from the fake. Not to mention, you're hippie hair isn't really standard protocol of the Bureau, kid. You seriously get by with those badges?" Stan scoffed again before they could reply. "Stupid ass law...hires a bunch of dimwits." 

"Um..." was the shared response as the brothers looked at each other. 

Stan rolled his eyes again, "Also, I know the Winchesters when I see em. Whatta ya want?"

The brother's pocketed their badges as they communicated silently before the taller one, Sam he thinks, speaks. 

"Are you Stanford Pines?"

Stan looks behind him where he thinks he hears a floor board squeak. But of course he would. It's an old house that's more or less served as a home to _him_ for decades, a summer home for pre-tween twins, and managed to served as a safe haven to humans and supernatural alike during an apocalypse. So he ignored it once he didn't see anyone. But still didn't want to chance it. 

"I'll repeat my question, whatta ya want?"

The other one, Dean he thinks, pulls out an orange envelope and passes it over. It's got his name on it along with some seals on it...he remembers this. 

"Bobby..." Stan says solemnly as he stares at the object in his hands. A bunch of memories of some of his adventures passed through his mind's eye. 

"So you _did_ know him?" Sam prompted. 

Stan nodded, and sighed deeply. "He was a friend."

One of the actual few that Stan managed to make. His time in prison when he _bonded_ with his cell mates were nothing to compare to his friendship with Bobby. Hell, if the incident with Ford never happened, he'd wished he'd ran into Bobby anyway. They were like brothers in their own right. 

"And you recognize _that_?" Dean asked as he pointed to the envelope. 

His hands tightened around the thing, already beginning to connected the dots of where this was heading. 

"You guys see that Greasy's Diner when you came into town?" Stan asked. When the brothers nodded, he handed back the envelope while reaching for the key hook for his car keys. "I'll meet you there in twenty, alright?" 

* * *

 

"So...what exactly happened here?" Sam asked once Stan arrived. 

He noted that the two had changed from their Fed suits to something more casual. The flannel made them blend in more in a town like Gravity Falls. Wendy's family were all practically born in flannel. 

When he arrived, he saw them sitting side by side in a booth while drinking coffee. Dean being the only one eating. Even though it was a stack of pancakes, the Manly Tester machine was broken, so he doubted they were free. Or maybe they were. He wasn't sure exactly if the currency thing was fixed yet, or is Lazy Susan was still feeding anyone who came in hungry. 

Stan shrugged casually. "They called it Weirdmageddon or the Oddpocolypse. Basically a bunch of weird shit that seemed to be on an acid trip."

The brother shared another look, and Stan knew that they weren't sure if they should get involved in that or just stay on task of what they came for. So he started off the conversation. "It's actually all connected to how I met Bobby. But don't worry about it. It's all taken care of...it's just the aftermath we're dealing with." 

"What exactly caused it?" Sam asked.

"Uh...well, me and my brother I guess." Stan replied as he scratched the back of his head.

"You...and your brother cause the...'Weirdpocalypse?" Dean inquired, getting a bit of a déjà vu feeling. 

"Weirdmageddon." Stan corrected but nodded anyway. "And I guess I should correct you, I'm Stan _ley_. My _brother_ is Stanford." At the weird look he got, he shrugged. "My father was a lazy man with no originality. Named both of us Stan to make it easier." He gave a dismissive hand as he waved that off. "Anyway...long story short? My brother's a genius who was tricked by a demon to build a portal to another dimension. Thirty years ago we had a fight and I accidentally pushed him through..."

As much as he wanted to pass it off as casual with a 'whatta ya gonna do' feel to it, the regret was clear in his eyes. He paused, as he always did, being taken back to that exact moment when Ford was sucked into the portal, lost to the hellish nightmare realm. 

"Stan?" Sam's voice brought him back. 

He blinked and nodded, "Right, sorry. I'm old, sue me." Trying to get back to his old, tough guy persona. He cleared his throat. "Right, where was I?"

"Your brother fell through the portal." Dean supplied, sparing Sam a glance. This was really hitting home in many ways. Especially when Sam had to jump in the cage to trap Lucifer. 

"Right... _that_ day. Anyway...my brother's machine was a complicated piece of work. He was a legit genius with a handful of degrees and doctorates. Me? I'm the dumb twin. Scams and cunning wit were my talents. Took me forever to learn all the science I needed to operate the portal correctly. But eventually the science wasn't enough when it was a mystical, ancient _demon_ who convinced my brother to build the portal. I began to look into paranormal science." Stan scoffed and rolled his eyes at a few memories, "Some of the bullshit I came across trying to find something legit actually inspired a bunch of the fake attractions in the Mystery Shack. I swear, after learning what was really out there, it was hard not to make a living off of the jokes...only way to keep my sanity that kept slipping every day that passed without my brother." 

"How long did it take you?" Sam asked. 

"Thirty years and I almost destroyed the universe in the process." He probably shouldn't have sounded so proud, but he was. 

Maybe Ford and the others who yelled and lectured him had a point. But he was still proud of himself. He _learned_ and _used_ physics he actually understood! Not to mention mechanics that went beyond anything beyond fixing things around the house or his Stanmobile.

"Never thought about giving up? Must have been frustrating." Sam commented.

"It was hella frustrating." Stan deadpanned, but then said seriously. "But you don't give up on family. _Ever_." 

"Damn right." Dean replied with a proud smirk of his own. 

"So...how exactly did all of that lead you to Bobby?" Sam asked. 

"Well, after asking around enough places I actually came in contact with someone who actually knew someone and that went on for a long time. But eventually it got me to Bobby Singer. Course he just shut the door in my face and threatened to call the police if I didn't leave. Granted to say...I spent some jail time in Sioux Falls." Stan explained. "I wasn't one to give up. And even though Bobby was a stubborn hunter, he worked alone. Some jobs you just can't do alone. So I offered my services in exchange for some actual helpful information since I didn't have anything useful to trade. At first...he just kept slamming the door in my face. But then Rufus got himself in some sort of trouble and Bobby didn't have time to be picky. He promised if I helped him with that, he'd help me. And he came through. Gave me my first real leads in fixing the machine I had in years. Gave me hope too, which I was seriously lacking in. And of course, he gave helpful pointers in surviving the supernatural..." He let out a deep, depressed breath, "Hurt like hell when I heard.

"He was a paranoid old bastard who was skeptical about everything, and I had to respect that, being who I am. But he still helped people. I mean, being a Hunter, you kinda have to expect that's how it's gonna end. On the job. And all you can hope for is that all the people you helped, if they knew it or not, make something of the life you gave them the chance to fulfill. Believing you left the world a bit safer...and he did. Like losing a brother..."

"Yeah...Bobby was one hell of a guy." Sam said, voice full of emotion.

Dean nodded, eyes also full of emotion. Then he cleared his throat, "What about you?"

"What about me?" Stan asked. 

"You still hunting?" Dean clarified.

Stan scoffed. "I may have helped out and learned as much as I could to keep safe, but I ain't a Hunter."

"What about being back up? You were good at that, right?" Dean was getting to something. At Stan's narrowed eye, quizzing gaze he said it. "Have you considered taking over Bobby's job? We got a guy but...something's happened and other's don't find him as reassuring anymore."

"Son, there ain't replacing Bobby." Stan said, a bit insulted for his friend. 

"You're right, there's not...but we need your help. How about starting there?" Sam asked. 

Stan eyed them, "What's the problem?"

Sam pulled out the envelope and pushed it towards Stan. "It had your name on it...only you can open it. Bobby wanted help with one last job. Can you help us, help him?"

Stan picked up the envelope and stared down at it for a long moment before sparing the boys a quick look, then back down. He took a deep breath before breaking the seal.

* * *

 

"You wanted to see us Mr. Pines?" Soos said as he entered his office in with Wendy in tow. 

"Yeah. Look you two, Gravity Falls is making quick recovery after all the weird crud that's happened. Soon everything will go back to normal...for this town's standard's anyway. But some things will change. The kids will be heading back to California and Ford's gonna start taking his name back legally while having it cleared. With that, he's also taking back his house. Point is...The Shack is closing and this is your two week notice."

" _What_?!" Soos cried out. 

Wendy frowned deeply, "Not cool, dude. Can't the Shack remain open? I mean, I get that your bro's a genius and whatever, but he _has_ been in another dimension for like _three_ decades. What's his income? Doesn't he like... _need_ the Shack?"

"I dunno, but it's not his thing. He'll figure something out, but the point is that my day's here are numbered." Stan replied. 

"Wait, you're leaving? You mean, just like the Shack, right?" Soos asked, feeling really heart broken at the thought. 

Stan was aware now of Soos's abandonment of his father, and how he unknowingly stepped into that roll, and how this might hurt him. It felt horrible, but between Ford and the Winchester's request, Stan's hands were tied. 

"Sorry, Soos. But I got things to do and suckers to scam. I may be old, but that just leaves a lot of cons that only an old man can get away with. Plus the Stanmobile still has a few more miles to give. Gotta use them before it's too late."

"What about Mable and Dipper?" Wendy asked.

Stan sighed, "Okay, here's the deal you two. They don't know I'm leaving...later tonight I'm telling them that a few friends are calling me to help them with something. Which is true. I'll be back to see them off, but afterwards...to be honest, I don't know what's gonna happen."

"I'm gonna miss you, Mr. Pines..." Soos said miserable.

"Course you are, I'm amazing! But you are too. You should open up your own place, Soos. Despite a few quirks, you really are a handy handy-man." 

"Oh, Mr. Pine..." Soos's sniffed but smiled. 

"You were a really cool boss too. You know, considering you're a crazy old man with weird old man bizz." Wendy said, trying to remain 'cool' but she had really connected with the Pines over the summer. Saying goodbye to Stan was like saying goodbye to her own grandfather. 

"And you're a go-getter with a don't mess with me attitude. I respect that. Keep an eye on the town, Wendy...they need an awesome woman like you."

"GROUP HUG DUDES!" Soos cried out as he pulled both Wendy and Stan into his arms. 

The other two groaned, but didn't fight him off either. 

* * *

 

_"GRUNKLE STAAAAAAN! You've been gone foooooooreveeeeeeeeeer!"_

"Mabel, sweetie, it's been four days." Stan replied simply as he flipped through files while the phone rested on the middle of the table on speaker. 

_"But that's like a hundred gabillion years in Mabel town! You gotta come hoooooome!"_ Mabel whined, sounding in pain. 

Sam looked up from his place with a smirk on his face before getting back to work. 

In the envelope that Bobby left Stan were a bunch of locations in latitude and longitude, with copies of information and supplies that a paranoid and ready Hunter like Bobby Singer could have. Dean was off on another trip to bring in as much supplies as possible to the Man of Letters bunker. It was just the first one, and there were plenty other locations. At the moment, Sam and Stan were categorizing everything. Stan said he may miss the last bits of the first place as he went back home to see the twins off, but would be back to start on the next one. The brothers agreed, having nothing else to do in the mean time. 

"I told you kid, friends of mine need my help. I'll be back to see you two off though." Stan promised.

_"Yeah but that suuuuucks! Dipper and Grunkle Ford are so boring! And Soos and Wendy aren't around as much without you and the Shack still not officially opened again. If you don't come back I'm gonna turn into a nerd like Dipper!"_

_"I am not a nerd! And is that Grunkle Stan?"_

"Dipper, have you been playing _Dungeons, Dungeons and more Dungeons_ again? It was agreed that you're only allowed to play that the last weekend of the month. Go be a normal kid with your sister. Steal a pie off a window sill or kick a can or something." 

"Kick a can? It's not 1930." Sam rolled his eyes. He smiled at the interaction between Stan and his great-nephew and great-niece. He also saw the photo that he brought of them, and even if they were twins, it reminded him of himself and Dean. 

"Shut it, Rapunzel." Stan glared at the younger Winchester before pulling another book from the pile towards him. 

_"Grunkle Stan, please tell Mabel that Soos and Wendy aren't fired. She keeps thinking they are."_

_"Well they haven't been around in a while and Candy says she saw Wendy asking for a few applications around town."_

_"Don't be stupid Mabel, Wendy loves the Shack and Soos loves Grunkle Stan. Why would they want other jobs when they got the best here, at the Shack?"_

_"I'm not the stupid one, stupid. The Shack hasn't reopened because Grunkle Ford doesn't want it to continue."_

_"Of course he does. What else is Grunkle Stan gonna do?"_

"Kids!" Stan exclaimed to stop them from arguing. But he rubbed his temple, fighting off a migraine. Mabel was right, but it might be hard for Dipper to see with how much he idolized Ford. But his brother just didn't care as much about Wendy or Soos to keep the Shack going, even for just their sake. 

"Look...it's been a heck of a time in Gravity Falls. It's gonna take time for everything to be up and running as it once was. Don't sweat it too much. You're kids. Worry about algebra and developing your taste in music. And I'm talking to the both of you on the last one."

_"Hey! I am over my Sev'ral Timez phase!"_ Mabel cried out.

_"There is nothing wrong with being into BABBA!"_

"Develop. Your taste. In music." Stan instructed. The roar of the Impala's engine could be heard as a low hum to them, but that meant Dean was back with more stuff for them to organize. "Look kids, I gotta go. I'll see you in a few days."

_"Grunkle Sta-"_

"They don't know you're leaving Gravity Falls after they leave?" Sam asked with a raised eyebrow.

Stan sighed, with questions like that he feels as old as he actually is. "Family means everything to me Sam. I screwed it up royally in the past. I got into so much shit after ruining my brother's life, it was over all easier to fake my death...which included never telling my family the truth. In a way it was a blessing, I was that much of a screw up."

"That can't be true..." Sam shook his head. Sure Stan was like the poster boy for what the Hunter life style is without the actually hunting part, but still.

"It was. I went to my own funeral, not that I wanted to, but Ford was in another dimension and after my father kicked me out, I hadn't seen my Ma or younger sibling...hell, they never actually met Stanley...it was a mess. But still...I couldn't stay away. I knew bringing the kids to visit meant double the trouble and work but...I don't regret it. I love those kids." Stan said.

"But you haven't told them yet." Sam pressed on. 

"No. To be honest, knowing Mabel's gonna tell them everything, I'm not sure if they'll ever let them visit anymore. And maybe that's a good thing. You and Dean are alright, Sam, but we can't lie to ourselves. This life? It's a hundred times more dangerous than the crap I've had to deal with in Gravity Falls...and I almost blew up the universe! I'm also pushing seventy...I know my odds."

"You don't _have_ to do this. You opened the envelope...me and Dean can handle the rest if you want to go back."

"Maybe I don't have to, but I want to...my brother's never really forgiven me for ruining his life and then all the hell he had to go through on the other side...he's holding a grudge. The Shack will go back to being just his house and he gets his name back...Stanley's dead, gotta start new. Plus this way I actually have something to do, somewhere to stay, and people that aren't as stupid as the rest of the world." Stan replied with a smirk before heading towards the door. 

It took Sam a moment longer to realized he was just insulted. 

"Hey!" 

* * *

 

"Grunkle Stan! You made it!" Mabel exclaimed as she jumped onto Stan's shoulders. 

He winced in pain and buckled over, barely catching himself with his palms. 

"Oh my god, Grunckle Stan are you alright?" Dipper asked in worry, Mabel jumping off of her Grunkle and standing next to Dipper.

"OHMYGODI'MSOSORRY!" She rushed out. "I didn't mean to hurt you, Grunkle Stan!"

"What? You didn't hurt me, sweetie. I'm just...well, I ain't as young as I used'ta be. Now come here and give me a hug!" He opened his arms for the twins, slapping on a forced happy smile on his face and ignoring the pain coursing through him. 

Truth was, there was a bit of a spontaneous hunt he helped the Winchester boys with just before he returned to Gravity Falls. There were a bunch of possessed Perry dog like animals that well...they were a pain to deal with and one of them jumped on him and gnawed at his stomach. He also had a bullet wound on his side from one of the farmers from the infested area who tried to _shoot_ it off of him. 

The twins looked at each other nervously before giving in and hugging the hell out of Stan. It was only a few days, one more than he said he'd be gone for, but he really had missed them. 

Soos and Wendy were there too. When he silently asked them if the twins knew yet, they shook their head and he smiled. He wasn't sure if it was right or wrong, but when the twins left, he wanted them to believe all was as it should be, with Stan, Wendy, and Soos still being a daily occurrence at the Shack. 

Would it be mean to say he was surprised that Ford had been waiting for him too? Well, he was sure that gathering everyone had been Mabel's doing. It seemed like her thing to do. 

When he nodded to his brother in greeting, he frowned at Ford's focused frown. Stan knew he was looking directly where his injury was. Ford was a genius, one who spent over thirty years in a war zone like place apparently. Noticing a wound may be easy, so Stan glared in warning. He didn't want the kids to worry. So he cleared his throat and demanded waffles. 

They had a pleasant last dinner breakfast at the diner before the Stan twins waved them off with Wendy and Soos there too. It was hard saying goodbye, mostly because he wasn't sure if it was for the last time. 

It probably was. 

* * *

 

Stan tried to shove Goldie into the back of El Diablo, but it was hard with all of the other junk he had back there. 

"What are you doing?"

"Holy Moses!" Stan screamed as he turned around, hand over his heart. When he saw Ford, he let out a deep breath, then winced slightly. He may have opened some stitching. "What are _you_ doing? You can't go around sneaking up on people...you'll give em a heart attack!" 

"I wasn't sneaking, Stanley!" Ford exclaimed, looking guilty and frazzled. He composed himself and with one hand repositioned his glasses. At the motion, Stan's eyes went to the other hand, which was holding a first aid kit.

"What, you hurt yourself?" Stan asked, confused. 

"No, you moron, _I_ did not hurt myself! But it's obvious _you're_ hurt. And I doubt there's any one in town with capable medical knowledge...well, anyone I can trust anyway. So just...let me-" Ford approached but Stan stepped back. Or tried to. He pressed up against the car door. 

"It's nothing. Just had an accident. I ain't as young as I used to be." Stan claimed. 

"So I've heard. But we're the same age, Stanley. So come on. Let's get inside and see what the damage is." Ford tried to be reasonable. 

"Look, I may not be a genius but I know that none of your degrees are in the medical field. As much as I appreciate the concern, I'm fine. Now, if you wanna be useful, help me make Goldie fit."

"Why? You taking him and the rest of this junk to the junkyard?" Ford asked as he eyed the mess in Stan's car. 

" _Junk_?" Stan baulked. Angry and indignant, he pointed to his things, "This is a lot of things, Ford, but it is _not_ junk! You know what, I don't want your help. I'll figure it out."

"Jeez, I'm sorry. But come on, Stanley. It's dark and you're hurt. Let's head inside and rest up. You can... _what_ are you doing anyway?"

Stan sighed, he wasn't at all sure what Ford thought about it. If he was happy, Stan would kinda be pissed. If he wasn't, Stan wasn't sure what he'd feel. It was only a few days but he hasn't felt more useful and at home with Sam and Dean than when it was him and the kids on the Stan-O-War row boat when they went fishing. 

"I don't have _that_ much stuff...nothing you can't give or throw away. Soos promised to do it for you if you don't want to. Hell, he'll probably just take the stuff and use it himself. Kid's sentimental like that. But _this_ stuff, this stuff that most definitely _isn't_ junk, is...well, it's the stuff I'm taking with me."

"Taking...with- I don't understand." Ford furrow his brows in confusion. Stan just looked at him with a tired, but serious face. Then it dawned on Ford. "You're...you're leaving? Just like that?"

"Well, it's what you wanted, wasn't it? The Shack's closed, the kids aren't here anymore, I gave Wendy and Soos their notice, and I've started the paper work on giving you back your identity. Wasn't easy and you'll want to be on it from here on out, but it's nothing compared to what we've been through. Lot of line waiting, but hey, you can use that sense of normality, right?"

"What are you going to do? Where are you going to go?"

Stan smirked, "Hey, this ain't my first rodeo...I'll be fine." 

He looked inside the car and moved a few things then gave Goldie one big push and he went in. There was a noise of a window breaking but he brushed it off, "I can fix that!"

He slammed the door shut then turned to Ford, "Well...this is it. Don't open any more portals, don't make any more deals. Hell, don't even _watch_ 'Let's make a deal'...Goodbye Stanford."

"Stanley...you'll..." Ford squared his shoulders and held his hand out. "Goodbye...for now."

As he looked into Stan's eyes, it was clear that Ford didn't want to be the final goodbye and Stan had to smile sadly. He accepted it and shook his brother's hand. "Bye Ford."

 


End file.
